


Miss You

by Blaugrana



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:09:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4067899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blaugrana/pseuds/Blaugrana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Xavi in Qatar, Andres is lonely and so is Xavi although he'd never admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> I am incapable of writing anything without angst of some kind. Also mildly sappy in the end. Enjoy  
> For this prompt: http://footballkink2.livejournal.com/10208.html?thread=6273760#t6273760

„I miss you“

Xavi isn’t entirely sure what he had expected when he picked up the phone at 3 in the morning but it sure as hell isn’t this.

“Andres“ 

His voice is strained and soft and even to his own ears he sounds tired, weary. Unfortunately it has very little to do with the time of day and more with the fact that Qatar isn’t shaping up to be what he had expected. He doesn’t know the language or the culture or even any of his teammates really.

He dreams of Barca more than he’d like to admit. Dreams of home. Dreams of Andres. However he’ll be damned if he ever admits that though. He’s never been good at expressing his feelings which is something Andres has always critiqued him on.

The night after the last game he ever played at the Camp Nou probably haunted him most of all.  
He remembers being high off of the victory and dragging Andres with him to collect the well-earned trophy, remembers pulling him close, kissing the top of his head and just basking in the roar of the crowd and the celebration.

They went home together. It had been a sort of ritual to them. After big wins Andres would follow Xavi and let him press him into the cool soft sheets and kiss him. They’d slowly explore every inch of each other’s bodies until they were entirely spent and satiated. However this time had been different because afterwards they hadn’t simply curled up together and gone to sleep. Andres had pushed up to look at him, eyes wide and pleading and had begged him to stay until he was on the verge of tears and Xavi felt so hollow he was pretty sure someone had scraped his insides out with a spoon.

He had wanted to stay. Really he had. But he loved football and loved playing and he couldn’t do that at Barcelona anymore because they didn’t need him anymore and he wasn’t happy sitting on the bench just to play the last 5 minutes of a game. He needed to be on the field, in control of the match. Unfortunately no matter what he did he couldn’t stop time and at 35 he was just too old to be useful to them. 

When Xavi had told Andres this, that he wouldn’t stay, that he couldn’t, Andres had gotten angry. Sweet, quiet Andres who couldn’t hurt a fly, whom Xavi had never even heard raise his voice let alone shout, had raged and screamed, had blamed Xavi for always choosing football over them, blamed him for being a coward since after years he was still too afraid to tell anyone about them and finally had blamed him for never even saying he loved him.

Xavi had felt like he was being torn apart because he did love Andres but it didn’t change anything. He would still have to leave and telling Andres now would only hurt him further. When Xavi stayed silent and didn’t respond to his accusations Andres didn’t even look surprised anymore merely resigned and so very tired. He had told Xavi he never wanted to talk to him again and not to call.

Even though it had hurt him and he could no longer recall all the times he had lain in bed at night unable to sleep because he ached simply to hear his voice, he had obeyed. He had thought that it was for the best, that this was what Andres had wanted.

“Do you hate me?”

The words slip out before he even realizes what he’s saying but he doesn’t regret them. It had been plaguing him the past months and he doubted that any answer Andres could give could possibly pain him any more than the uncertainty he had been experiencing. He listens patiently to Andres’ steady breathing, knows not to push him.

“I could never hate you. You should know that by now.”

Andres’ voice is gentle steady and he sounds far more sure of himself than Xavi is which he is thankful for. At least one of them seems to know what he’s doing. He hates how insecure he is when it comes to Andres constantly needing reassurance and never giving any of his own. After years of being together, Xavi still isn’t sure how Andres can tolerate it, tolerate him. So he steels himself for what he has to do. He’d been putting it off for ages now because he was scared and he never should have been because this is Andres they’re talking about and he trusts him enough to open up.

“I love you”

As soon as the last syllable is out he feel better, lighter somehow. It should bother him that his first time saying this is over the phone but it doesn’t. He hears Andres’ sharp intake of breath and waits for him to speak. A couple of minutes pass in silence and Xavi’s beginning to worry thinking he should probably have stayed quiet.

“I love you, too. We can make this work. I know we can.”

And just like that Xavi’s happier than he’s been in a long, long time. He isn’t quite as sure as Andres sounds but he’s willing to try because he loves Andres. Always has. Always will.


End file.
